THE MESSINESS OF “VOCATION”
“And in the synagogues immediately he (Saul) proclaimed Jesus, saying, ‘He is the Son of God.’ And all who heard him were shocked, and said, ‘Is not this the man who made havoc in Jerusalem of those who called on this name? And he has come here for this purpose, to bring them bound before the chief priests.’ But Saul increased all the more in strength, and confounded the Jews who lived in Damascus by proving that Jesus was the Christ. When many days had passed, the Jews plotted to kill him, but their plot became known to Saul. They were watching the gates day and night, to kill him; but his disciples took him by night and let him down over the wall, lowering him in a basket. And when he had come to Jerusalem he attempted to join the disciples; and they were all afraid of him, for they did not believe that he was a disciple.” (Acts 9: 20-26)
What a mess. Am I right? The first consequences of St. Paul’s response to his unique calling or “vocation” are shock, confusion, mistrust, and fear. But he carries on. …And the rest is history, as they say.
Listening to my calling can be a messy thing. It means becoming me, as God intends me to be, in Him and in sync or “synergy” with His will and vision of/for me. But God’s “vision” does not always correspond either to my own, nor to other people’s, so it can be messy. Nonetheless, “vocation,” or God’s voice in our lives, is a most empowering phenomenon, liberating us from the confusion of human opinion and delusion, – both our own, and that of others. Lord, let me do the next right thing today, according to Your will.